Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Bible had singing animals too, didn't it?

Earlier today wifey took the kids to Chucky Jesus. That's what my son calls Chucky Cheese's, which needless to say makes me nervous everytime he says it because........well.........I think we all know there haven't been too many scenarios involving christians and toddlers in the last decade that haven't ended in new laws named after little girls. No offense to anyone, I just don't want my son to be the first male with a rape law named after him, just because some pizza-pushin' pedo priest asked him if he wanted to go "play in the tunnels". And it doesn't end there, then we'll have to deal with the ripped-from-the-headlines Law and Order episode. They'll have the dude with the creepy huge muppet eyebrows grillin' some curly head Italian child actor playing my son, since they still don't allow mixed race people to get SAG cards in hollywood. It'll just be a big mess.

Matter fact..........I figure if I can just get this kid to 18 without him becoming a case study of ANY kind for pre-law undergrads, I should get a big A+ on my daddy report card. That's your job description as a father. Don't let your kids set any precedents.

I know, I should write a parenting book. You're welcome for the free words of wisdom. Each one, teach one, that's what I always say.

I never say that.

2 comments:

Hi-Def featuring Lily Fresh said...

Bahahahah. Oh lord, believe me, if you published a parenting book, I'd buy it. & I would totally follow it.
I have a feeling your little boy is going to be cool as hell. What am I saying..he probably already is cool as hell.

If I met Keira Knightley, I'd have a heart attack. & then I'd be a lesbian.
It's sort of a double negative, but I'm down.
*Hugs self & smiles*

Gem said...

BWAAAAH not male-child-rape precedents! I was thinking more along the lines of Child's Play when I read Chucky Jesus.